Kindness On Our Journeys

 I’m sleepy at this moment as I write this post, the metal taste of Solumedrol in my mouth after a steroid infusion. Earlier, however, I woke up praying once again, watching another peaceful sunrise. I opened the window and felt the cold air on my face, but was not startled, I felt invigorated as I watched my breath; small clouds as I exhaled into the morning. I was temporarily transported back to cool mornings in Bristol, VT on my way to our 6am yoga classes, the start of our arduous, deeply fulfilling days of training that would not end until 5 or 6pm each evening.

I received a message yesterday about one of my beloved teachers from Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy. Karen’s soul is on the bridge, journeying between her earthbound body to heavenly realms. When I think of her, I envision Gaia, stable, grounded, exuding safety and love, caring for all beings. I can still feel her strong arms around me, holding me on more than one occasion in demo sessions as we learned how to assist others compassionately through PRYT, a beautiful healing modality. I learned a great deal about myself as well. When her soul finally parts from her body in the coming days, she will leave enduring residue of herself, like fine angel dust, in the hearts of those of us who have been blessed by her gentle teaching, her humor, her warmth, her kindness. I am a different person, a better person for the time I spent learning not just technique, but how to be fully immersed in another person’s experience…traveling with them as their bodies released the stories held in their cells, healing, one breath at a time.

I did not complete my PRYT training, I got half way through my studies when MS altered my life's path. While I don't apply the physical aspects of yoga therapy to others, I often incorporate the listening skills, body scans, inquiry and mirroring I learned from Karen in my work as a Spiritual Director, Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach and SoulCollage facilitator. I will forever be grateful for the wisdom Karen imparted, but even more so for her genuine kindness. In Sharon Salzberg’s book, The Force of Kindness, she writes, “It is someone’s kindness that essentially affirms us, that conveys a sense of the wholeness they glimpse in us, a wholeness that we ourselves might barely realize.” Thank you dear Karen for believing in me as a conduit for healing, simply by listening attentively with my heart. 

 

May your light rise with brilliance and gentle grace into heavenly realms, peacefully, surrounded by the love you gave and the love we return, an eternal cycle of chesed, lovingkindness.

Thank you everyone for your prayers for Jack this week. I sent a link to his mothers so they could read your kind blessings. Jen let me know how much they appreciate the extra prayers. Perhaps today, you could add Karen Hasskarl to your prayer list to ease her journey.

"What's happening now?" Karen taught us to ask our clients, and our own healing bodies, minds, hearts and souls...

In this moment, I feel quietude, softness, and know it is time to close my eyes and rest while the medicine does its work in my body for the next few days.


gentle steps,
Laura

linking to:

I Woke Up Praying

"The soul is always praying. It constantly seeks to fly away to its Beloved."
~Rav Kook

I woke up praying this morning...many hours ago. Little Jack, the sweet 9-year-old boy I’ve mentioned before on my blog who has been living with Stage IV High Risk Neurolastoma, since he we a toddler is quite ill, now. The cancer is spreading rampantly through his fragile body, but his mother says he is still playful and happy in between sleeping from the narcotics that are helping to give him some relief from the terrible pain. I met Jack through his mom Jen who lovingly writes his story on his CaringBridge blog, and I met Jen through my friend Deb, and I know all of them because of this other magical bridge that connects hearts across the world; the internet. (Deb was one of the first people to ever follow my blog back in February of 2008 when hardly anyone ever read it or left comments!)

As Rav Kook teaches, “The soul is always praying,” and mine was/is, for Jack. I'm praying for many people all the time it seems, individual who I happen to know personally, who are struggling with physical illness, with sadness and grief, with financial woes. I'm praying for people around the world who I do not know, but who are struggling due to the same issues, or natural disasters, political upheaval, war, famine. There is much to pray for in this world of ours, the earth herself needs our healing prayers. 

But this poem is dedicated to Jack, one little boy whose every breath gives joy and courage to all who are blessed and inspired by his presence in the world.

i woke up praying for a child I’ve never met

for he could be mine

or yours for that matter

love knows no boundaries

“the soul is always praying”

i sat up to see a rosy glow

opened the window

w     i     d     e

found myself immersed in the sky

senses soaring amongst sounds

bird song

distant cars and trucks

moving through monday

fresh scent

of morning air

cool

pleasant

on my sleep warmed skin

pure like a child

i inhaled

this moment of infinite awareness

the preciousness of life

heart grounded

here

on my earthbound bed

then the tears

tears slid down my face

i continued to pray 
for ease

for comfort

for this young boy

to understand
deep in his heart

that he is indeed surrounded by angels

Michael, Uriel, Rafael, Gavriel

his mothers

his sister

other family members

and friends

near and far

his tiny dog Tut

his beloved stuffed cow

Moo Moo

angels all

tenderly holding him

with compassionate

intention

the way the blushing sky

was holding me

the way the Holy Blessed One

is always cradling me

and you

and all of life

but most especially

on this rosy dawn

little Jack

love knows no boundaries

“the soul is always praying...

it constantly seeks to fly away to its Beloved.”

For more poetry visit:

One Shot Wednesday 

Yes, I remember

four summers ago

my garden tended with care

yes, i remember

Not So Black and White

While I won't be joining in an MS Walk with my family this year, my friend Bev will be.

Won't you join me in making a donation to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society Greater New England Chapter by giving what you can to Bev's team? She and her teammates are walking for those of us who can't, raising awareness and money to support research and assist patients and families in New England who are living as fully as possible with the variety of limitations and complexities multiple sclerosis imposes upon us.

While we might label the image above "black and white," it isn't that simple. It is actually composed of many shades of gray. Multiple Sclerosis is the label we give an autoimmune disease that affects every individual who has it in a variety of ways. The symptoms, and degrees of ability and disability it creates in those of us living with this demylinating disease are as diverse as the grays in the photo above and as unique as the people who have been given this diagnosis worldwide. (Approximately 2.5 million people!) No two people you meet with MS experience the exact same symptoms or respond to the available treatments in the same way. There are similarities amongst us, but this disease is quite complex. Every dollar and every day brings us one step closer to understanding this disease and perhaps one day curing it.

Last year many of you dug deep to generously support the MS Society, you helped my daughter raise well over $2000. I hope you will feel as compelled to support this worthwhile cause even without an adorable 13 year old (now 14) leading a team. I’m just not up to the physical challenge of participating this year, but that doesn’t mean I won't do all I can do help a friend who is walking the walk, by talking the talk here on my blog! 

Who knows, maybe next year I’ll walk myself, and leave my wheelchair, walker and cane behind. (Or at least have the energy to be present and pushed along like last May...)

 

To learn more about MS visit the National MS Society

April Fools

No, this is not an effusive display of fragrant blooms...but heavy snow! Spring in New Hampshire is nothing like spring in Pennsylvania where I grew up! I must admit, sometimes I miss the pageantry of white and pink dogwood trees lining the roads of our neighborhood as children. My younger sister Pam and I were just reminiscing about this the other day. It was so lovely riding our bikes down the street through the perfumed air, the world transformed to a fairyland of blossoms. This morning the view outside my window is an enchanted vision of snow resting upon every branch in our woods. It is every bit as elegant (though not as fragrant). After nearly twelve years living in New England, April's little jokes are more appreciated. The girls have an extended weekend, and we are all snug in the house. If the power goes out due to the weight of the snow, we have a generator and we will be warm. I am loving the irony of course of my last post of heart shaped lilac buds. Yes, spring is here...New Hampshire style!!! Our trees will likely not bloom until May, and before that there will be flooding, and plenty of mud. Spring is a blink of the eye in the northeastern part of the United States, and  the suddenly summer will be in full swing. The summer months always pass by too quickly for me; I so enjoy having the girls around fulltime and sitting on our screened porch for hours listening to the birds, and other woodland creatures scampering and coyly slinking through the forest. We read, we chat, we laugh, we play games, we enjoy each others company. Every season has a flavor of its own, and abundant blessings if we open our hearts to receive them.

But here we are, right now, April 1st, Spring Is Here…and my heart seems to be dancing amongst the snowflakes nonetheless.